Monday, November 9, 2009
Fears and Doubts
I know it's too late to change our minds about this whole baby thing. But y'know, i'm starting to kinda have doubts. OK, well maybe not doubts... but a whole lotta fears. I've been hearing so many stories lately about babies that are up all night. Babies that cry all the time. Babies that can't/won't breastfeed. New moms who are depressed. Overwhelmed. Sad. Scared. It seems i'm only hearing the negative stuff to new mommyhood lately... and to be honest, it's kind of freaking me out. I mean, if that's how it is - why do people have babies?? INTENTIONALLY? :) I'm only kidding of course, but there is some truth to my statement. Do they really bring so much joy, that it makes all the heartache, sleep deprivation, painful breasts, and lack of money, well fitting wardrobe & a social life worth it? These are all things that ran through my mind before making the choice of becoming pregnant (yes, this baby was very much planned and well thought out) but now it's really hitting me. What have we gotten ourselves into?!?!?! In just two months, our entire world as we've known it will completely be turned upside down and all around - and as much as I hope and pray it'll be for the better, I'm totally terrified my fears will become reality! And what's worse - as much as i'm terrified i'm gonna hate being a mom, i'm even MORE terrified i'm gonna be a terrible one! Is me writing this blog already setting me up to be a terrible mom? Do good moms actually have this fear before even giving birth? Geez, I hope what i'm feeling is normal. This is scary stuff!
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If you want it to be worth it (all the crap that comes with new mommy-hood) then it totally will be :-)
ReplyDeleteSome people just have a really bad attitude towards it and think it is punnishment. Most of us believe there is an end and all the little things (smiles, giggles, hugs, kisses) make it SOO beyond worth it!
Hun, I won't lie. It's hard. It's overwhelming. You may not be able to breastfeed. Your baby might stay up all night. He might be fussy. Those are all legitimate fears. You just don't know. But honest to God, it is so worth it. My girls will drive me crazy and then I will look at one, get a big smile and just melt. When I go to get Kayley from her crib, 99.9% of the time, she looks up and breaks into a huge smile. When I so much as walk by Charlotte when she is in her bouncy, she gets smiley and starts kicking her legs because she is so excited and wants me to pay attention to her or pick her up. I swear that during those moments, I forget all the bad times. You will love Cam more than you ever thought you could love another person. It's normal to feel how you do now, but it will be great! And you know where to go for support :) *hugs*
ReplyDeleteTotally normal to feel this way. Me, I didn't have these fears until AFTER baby was here...where I (we) said "OMG, what have we done to our lives!" LOL!! It is completely overwhelming, because nothing can prepare you for how much a child changes your life, your marriage, your relationships...but yes, it is so incredibly worth it. I look at my son every day and know that I am doing the job I am meant to do - the love we feel for him is incredible and every sacrifce, although difficult at times, is worth it too. As for the lack of sleep, screaming/crying baby...just keep in mind, as a new mom, everything is a phase and every difficult phase will pass and you will be presented with a new challenge!
ReplyDeleteI was extremely lucky and had lots and lots of help as a new mom, and while my baby doesn't love to sleep she does have a sunny disposition. I don't know if it was all that or if it was hormones or that I was FINALLY not sick anymore, but I was a deliriously happy new mother. I cried almost every day in joy because I couldn't believe how happy I was. Eventually I adjusted back to normal. ha ha
ReplyDeleteHaving a baby does put a strain on many of the things you've mentioned. Hubs and I have had to renegotiate some things, for example, but it is all SO worth it.
You know we are here for support in the good times and the bad!
Oh, those are completely normal thoughts. Being a mommy is the hardest, yet most amazing thing EVER!! You will have days, many days, where you wonder what the heck you did to your life. But you are quickly reminded when you are greeted with a smile, a shake, a kick, a calmed down baby, that you are now a mommy! Life as you knew it will never be completely the same, but even BETTER :):):)
ReplyDeleteMy neighbor next door is maybe 19 and she has a 6 month old. He is the cutest, most smiley baby I have ever seen and she is LOVING mother hood! I think you just need to keep a positive attitude and love every moment of it as much as possible!
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